A contemplation on Bun/Burger/Bun. When you live in this particular community they encourage a certain communication style, which I have taken the liberty of calling the Bun/Burger/Bun style. When someone wants to talk to you about an "issue" they start with something nice and soft and fluffy then they get to the meat of the "issue" and then close it out with something nice and soft and fully. I come from a long line of tell it like it is people and my communication style is much more direct. For a while here in Community they used Nonviolent Communication exclusively. Which makes me wonder how they talked about the weather or other mundane matters. I do not mean to disparage NVC because it is an excellent, excellent tool and I admire people who can use if for conflict resolution but I do not see it as being an effective means of everyday communication.
So besides trying to put a little focus on my communication style I am also looking at my habitual patterns in relationships. I am aware that I am keeping a distance from most of my fellow volunteers (with one or two exceptions), with the intention of a0 not falling into a habitiual relationship, b) keeping myself free from distractions with my inner work and c) gaining some level of comfort in this new environment where my old (huckster salesmen) skill set is not striking me as very authentic.
One last thought, I need to get comfortable with how much I want to be alone. I like being alone I would be a perfectly happy hermit living in a teeming city of millions if I could. But I know my practice will be helped my not isolating myself. It is so wonderfully easy to show compassion for a stranger weeping on the street, much harder when it is the jerk who looks down his nose at you during a meeting. Even harder to show compassion to the aforementioned jerk without feelings of spiritual superiority.
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